- July 2008 Issue -
(Shout! is taking a new direction with the zine
and will no longer be publishing Pit pieces.)
From every regretful experience in life comes about something positive. I’d like to think that my horrid years as a teenie would someday benefit another human being. That somehow I have achieved something from 3 years of “OMGILOVEYOU”s and that it can subsequently help others.
Well, the day is finally here! I come to you, as a former insider, bearing a gift of knowledge. Here are some tips on how to be sneaky in a concert crowd and get yourself front and center!
• Dress for Comfort
If you’re planning to be covered in spikes with 50 pounds of metal attached to your body, be prepared to be a target in the mosh pit. First of all, how comfortable can dragging your heavy metal body (literally) be? If you think this will prove how metal or brutal you are, think again. Arrogance equals a target mark on your forehead.
Secondly, what is the point? Unless you have glow-in-the-dark skin, no one can see you in the crowd! And quite bluntly, NOONE CARES! Some of you may be thinking, “but what if I bump into the band after the show?” Believe me, there is nothing sexier than a sweaty band shirt. That’s your way of showing the band you had the time of your life getting down and dirty with them. The goal is to sneak your way to the front, so ensure that you can move about freely and not have anything on you that will act as a physical restriction to glide through the crowd.
Best gig gear would be a band shirt, comfortable pair of jeans or pants and sneakers. Make sure you tie your laces tightly to avoid going home barefoot. Avoid accessorizing excessively as you are bound to lose something, like your ears for instance. Remember, everyone is there for some good music, not a fashion parade.
• Lose Yourself
A concert is the best place to go out of character. Go wild! Do things you don’t normally do. If you see a row of people way ahead of you, with arms hooked around each others necks, head banging like crazy, feel free to join them! Remember, everyone is your friend until they get in your way!
At the same time, respect others and yourself. Don’t start unnecessary fights. If someone has been eyeballing you since the start of the gig and he just happens to be twice as big as you, completely covered in tattoos that scream bloody murder and just happens to have metal knuckles, it would be wise to just walk away.
Eye on the prize my friend. Eye on the prize.
• Be the Exceptional Exception
There will usually come a time during every show whereby the performer gives out a particular command. “JUMP!” And for some odd reason, you feel you have no choice but to do so. It may be tempting but hear me out. By being an exception in this situation, you can earn yourself some exceptional benefits.
In order to secure a desirable position in the crowd when your band takes the stage, it is advisable to execute this plan while the opening acts are performing. In the event of a no-opening-act show, don’t panic. With proper planning, this operation shouldn’t take too long.
Mentally study your surroundings. Look out for holes in the crowd. The word “JUMP” is your cue to start making your way through the crowd. As they bounce around like bunnies on crack , steadily make your way through. Hop and smile as you pass through the crowd.
• Moshing Is The Best Policy
Your best gamble is to join in the mosh. As they shove and kick you everywhere, you have a 50/50 chance of ending up at the front. However,if you’re unlucky, you might end up right back where you started. But the bright side is that you can just get back in there and try again! Crowdsurfing could get you far but the probability of getting yourself tossed way to the front and out of the crowd is high. If this scenario was to play out, don’t forget to give the lead singer a high five on your way back to step 1.
We may have a mission to accomplish here but remember that no one should get hurt in our journey to spit spectrum. Help people off the ground if they fall. Look out for others and they will be sure to do the same for you. Moshing is not a war. It’s a sport. And every sport has its own set of rules and protocols. Follow them.
Dirty is not how we roll. Sneaky is the way to go.
Remember, success is not a destination. It is a journey. So make sure you enjoy yourself every step of the way.
Have fun conquering your next show!
- Image Courtesy Of: http://cycletheory.tripod.com
